i went to my friends 16th last night, the 'burlesque' themed party i've mentioned before. it was pretty good, her dad did a lot of japanese/chinese food for us, and a milk chocolate fountain and little cakes. i didn't drink anything, but everyone around me was drinking and smoking and i just suddenly felt that i didn't fit in and didn't want to be there anymore. i went upstairs because it was a little quieter, billy came up and told me he was leaving and etc. we wandered outside for a while, everywhere was really quiet so we were walking down the middle of roads and things.
it made me think though, you really do have to trust, and be honest with someone 100% of the time when you're in a relationship, no matter what. because as soon as you start to doubt, things go downhill. i'm still getting used to billy being at college now and him being around other people, and yeah i find it hard but i try not to make too much of a fuss about it. it seems he feels the same, after what he was telling me last night. i trust him though when he's away, and i know he trusts me back. we just.. worry, i guess.